"Ladies and gentlemen, you've been a great audience. Remember to tip your waitress. I'm here all week."

Reading her Aquadoodle to Violet.

Sibling rivalry is the pits

We’ve had a challenging 24 hours.   Cassie has decided that she doesn’t want to share anything.   She has also decided to be mad at Momma.   Everything Momma does is wrong.   Everything.   OK – Momma is allowed to breathe.   But touching things?   No.   Picking up Cassie?    No.   Putting her down?   No.    Suggest this?   No.   Offer that?   No.   And the reaction is not just a simple no.  It’s a full blown meltdown, complete with thrashing, swinging arms, and screaming.    Dadda feels bad for Momma.   He knows the spot she’s in because he’s there approximately every 28 days or so.    That might be a teensy weensy exaggeration but every man knows that feeling.   You’re just wrong, and any attempt to fix it just makes it worse.  Better to just stand there and take it like a man, or Momma in this case.   

 

Cassie is having a difficult time with the fact that Momma is now a shared resource.   Chloe is OK with that so far.   But Cassie is not pleased.  She still has her nice moments.   She’ll offer the occasional snack and help with the occasional diaper change but for the most part, if Momma picks up Chloe, Cassie is mad.   She has been a bit rough with Chloe.   She’s not hitting her; she’s just being a great big kid who jumps up and down, swings her arms and legs, and doesn’t quite understand how it feels to be on the other end of all those moving parts.    She also doesn’t understand the stress she causes with all the screaming and yelling.   Momma is at her wits end, and Dadda is within a few inches of his.   He’s doing better only because Cassie’s wrath has largely been directed at Momma.    Momma has a great deal more patience than Dadda for such things but she’s facing a full frontal assault, while Dadda just gets hit with shrapnel.

 

A few times last night we were worried that the hotel might kick us out.   Yes, it’s that bad.   

 

We don’t know where this is leading but we are hoping that the worst of it will pass when Cassie realizes that the situation is non-negotiable.  

 

To Dadda’s parents and his sister, he offers his apologies for his part in the sibling rivalry of years past.   But he’s pretty sure it was all his sister’s fault because she’s older.   That kind of logic is perhaps a bit weak, but it has two very important merits:

1.       It absolves Dadda of any responsibility.

2.       His sister isn’t here while Dadda types up this nonsense.

 

Meanwhile, we still love Cassie every bit as much as we always have.   Here are some pictures of her in her more angelic state.   For some reason, the camera doesn’t pick up the halo over her head.   Must be a flaw in the camera design.   You’ll just have to trust us that it’s there.

 

 

Simply put, Chloe

One thing we learned when we adopted Cassie was that every day brought new surprises. Today, the day Chloe became a part of our family, was no exception. Those in the IA community have a vision of how "gotcha day" is supposed to go. A handful of families waiting at a civil affairs office. Babies and children arriving. And let's not forget the crying, lots of crying. The adults, that is. We saw all of that today, straight out of the IA playbook.

We woke up as a family of 3 for the last time today. We went to the hotel restaurant and had a nice breakfast. The buffet here is similar to the White Swan in Guangzhou, which is to say that we won't starve - not by a longshot. At 10 minutes til 10am our guide, Jin, picked us up in the hotel lobby, and took us to the Civil Affairs Office. There we were the last of about 6 families to arrive. A few already had their new children. We quickly scanned the room, and were at once disappointed and relieved that our precious Chloe was not yet there. We were dying to see her, but we wanted to capture the moment on video. Also, the idea that she would be waiting for us to arrive while we were eating a nice leisurely breakfast would make us feel very guilty. So we settled in for what would be about a 15 minute wait. We watched other families forming right before our eyes. Sonny has been working on a project for Struandale Engine Plant in South Africa, and one of the people there, a proud new grandpa, had spent his career working at Struandale Engine Plant. He invited Sonny to visit if his work ever brought him to Struandale. It really is a small world but today was not about making new friends. Today was about completing a family. And 15 minutes after arriving, we looked out the window and saw our baby arriving. Sonny fired up the video recorder, and still photo camera, and pointed them both at the door. (Yes - video will be posted, but not until we get home).

So, how did it go today? For starters, Chloe appears to be in very good health, at least to the untrained eyes of her new parents. She carries a fair amount of baby fat, unlike her sister who was prominently displaying every rib and vertebrae when we met. Chloe also is very easy going. She is perfectly happy having Daddy hold her, which is something Cassie would not tolerate for more than a few moments until several months after we brought her home. Chloe, like Cassie, has a repaired cleft lip. The doctors here appear to have done a great job. Unlike Cassie however, Chloe also had a cleft palate. Based on the pictures we had seen, and the opinion of the cranial facial surgeon we had consulted, we believed it to be a fairly severe case. The first surprise of today was that the palate had been repaired. Chloe hasn't let us inspect her mouth yet. When we try, she lets us know that her teeth are sharp and her jaw is strong. :) What she has also done is demonstrate for us in a few ways that the palate is completely closed. First, she sucks from a bottle, something that would not be possible with a cleft palate since any attempt to suck would simply pull air in from the nose. Second, she scarfs down Cheerios, rice, and chicken like there is no tomorrow, and - sorry for the gross visual - nothing came out her nose. With a cleft palate, especially the one we saw in pictures, food would be coming out her nose if the palate was still as open as we saw. We were informed by the assistant orphanage director - her name is "Coco" - today that Chloe had her palate repaired in July. Again, it appears the surgeons here did a great job. We had packed special bottles designed for children with cleft palates. They are difficult enough to find in the U.S. and almost impossible to find here. We asked Coco if the orphanage would accept them as a donation. She smiled, said yes, and thanked us.

Chloe, typical of children who live in an orphanage, currently has poor muscle tone. She is not able to stand on her own. She can stand while holding something or someone, but cannot yet take steps. We'll get working on that straight away. She has a beautiful complexion, and soft, silky hair, a little darker than Cassie's.

She likes apples, bananas, and oranges. She is still getting formula twice a day, and has already drained two bottles with us. She makes eye contact with both Momma and Dadda while eating, which is a very good sign. We had sent pictures of us, Cassie, and Tehya and Sage (the dog and cat), and it is clear that they had spent time with her showing her the pictures. When we hold her and point to the pictures, she smiles.

Cassie has predictably had a mixed reaction. Mind you that she's a little mixed up in terms of sleep cycle, and she's always a grump when she's tired. A few hours ago, Cassie was melting down because she was having to share Momma, Dadda, treats, toys, etc. But as this post is being typed, they are exchanging toys and treats on the bed. I'm sure we're in for a lot of these ups and downs before they negotiate a more permanent arrangement between themselves.

Chloe's nanny, a Half The Sky nanny, was there today, and told us a lot about Chloe. We are told that her favorite toy is "pretend kitchen stuff". How fortunate for us then, that Grandma and Grandpa Jones got Cassie a complete play kitchen for Christmas this year. So our two little chefs can work together to cook up all sorts of pretend concoctions.

And now, the photos. Sorry to keep you waiting. Most of these really do speak for themselves, but we've added a caption because we're feeling verbose today.

The moment we have waited for. Chloe's nanny brings her to us.

The handoff of a lifetime.

Chloe's nanny shows us all some photos.

First family photograph.

At the diaper changing production line.

Momma feeds Chloe.

Cassie looks on, wondering what this means.

One moment later, Cassie decides to get in on the Momma action.