Tuesday, June 19, 2007

1 Year Anniversary - a little bittersweet

Well today is our one year LID anniversary. What does that mean.....nothing. When we started this journey we assumed -- you know what assuming does -- that by this point we'd have our referral......maybe even our daughter home with us. But, now with the current referral wait time at 19 months and rumors floating around that the wait could go to 36 months.....12 months really means nothing......very sad. Plus, our dossier hasn't even been reviewed by China yet. So even though this should be a huge milestone in the process --- at this point it isn't.

All we can say today - is that we have been logged in for 1 year. Referrals could be 7 months away or 24 months away. We have no good information to point either way. All our agency can do at this point is guess and hope --- the same things that we do.

The funny thing is I bought a wipe off magnetic calender for the frig back in November. When I got it the first thing I did was mark the 19th of each month with how many months we have been logged in. This month the square for the 19th reads 'LID - 1 year!!'. The funny thing is that's where I stopped - at June. I didn't think last November that it would really get to this long of a wait. Now, I need to fill in the 19th for July through December. Well, maybe not. If I don't do it - maybe it won't be a constant reminder to me every time I look at the calendar and my eyes automatically are drawn to the 19th. I used to smile at the monthly milestones. Now, it's just another appointment on the calendar. I'm totally numb most days lately about the wait. The only thing that makes me 'feel' that it's real still is shopping.

Retail therapy......my saving grace in the wait. At least that still works. I now have about 10 storage boxes of clothes, a closet shelve full of blankets, a storage box of books, 4 diaper bags, and a whole closet full of misc items and toys.....lots of toys. I guess this means I won't be having a baby shower. By the time our daughter does get here she won't need anything but hugs and kisses from mommy and daddy.

Hold on baby girl.......mommy and daddy will be there as soon as humanly possible. Mommy might get down about the wait but never about having you home. That is the only thing that keeps me going when the wait seems never ending. I KNOW that you will be home when GOD thinks the time is right. HE just hasn't let us in on the plan yet. Mommy will keep praying for signs.

1 comment:

the in law said...

Hi there. I would still give you a baby shower if you want one, even though it sounds like you are all set. Hang in there. There are a lot of us praying for your daughter to get here as soon as she can.